Fear

A brassy Bossa nova, feet banging sound,
drew me into dancing
as I used to dance , back to youth,
to my Fred Astaire snake pit days of fifties swing

Found a willing partner to fling, spin, and flip;
incessant  motion in 5 step frenzy
captured within the loud band’s energy.
Immersed in it’s intimate sound,
beyond the pain in my knees
the wine edge vanishing in my sweat
we’re a lone couple on the floor space of abandon
fused to the music to end in…..
A painful gasping.

A quick foreboding
existing inside a choked breath
the great apprehension
transformation,
obliteration

the breath fails
gasping, I make my table, breathe fear
know the smell, the taste when it happened
ten years ago, the chest pained angst
faced the end of all love
gasp again slow
wait.

Alone in my darkest self, under old shadows, a child,
again, not knowing, angry father, raised hand, razor strap

Everyone is dancing now
Breathe slowly
wait for my future.

Leave a Reply